those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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