Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
