So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
