What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
