and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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