The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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