What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
