Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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