i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
