He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
