i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My vagina just clenched in fear
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