Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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