I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
