I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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