she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
