Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
