I puked a lego.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
