my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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