i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We are all done wearing pants today
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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