A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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