I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
