So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
