What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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