Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
