I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
