We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
