My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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