she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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