brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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