Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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