my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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