You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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