I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
