I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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