my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize
