I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your penis caused this!
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