i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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