I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
