I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize