oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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