I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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