Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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