When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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