I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.