So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
