I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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