Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
