I'm jealous of your bromance
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
