If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
