dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize