3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
