Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
