I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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