my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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