To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
