Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
