Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
