How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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