I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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