Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
