There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
nutella sex= disaster
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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